For years I woke up with self-pity. I’d wake into consciousness saying, “GOD DAMN IT! I’m still Jamison.”
The self-loathing would stay through the morning until I would leave for school or work or somewhere I didn’t have to be alone in my own head.
As the saying goes:
My mind is like a dangerous neighborhood; don’t go there by yourself.
So I asked a few friends for help. They suggested a group gratitude text line, where we could share some morning awesome. Gratitude changes my perspective from what I lacked to what I have, from scarcity to abundance. I still woke with fear, but shifted it with gratitude.
But eventually it began to feel rote, forced. So I tried something new.
I write a morning love letter
I send thank you missives from the frontline of my morning mind.
I wake up and ask myself: Who do I miss? Who do I want to connect with?
I write a short note — usually 3 sentences — and share my gratitude for them, how I feel & something meaning about my life that day. That’s it.
That is enough to divorce me of self-pity
I cannot loath my-self or the day ahead when I focus on my love for another. I can feel some truth while also being useful, because connecting with another human is always useful. And it’s the point of being here with others. That is enough for today.
Now, I write a love letter a day.
Until that doesn’t work. I’ll let you know what I find next.
Who do you love? Who do you want to reach toward, today?
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