I try to travel mindfully. I attempt to be aware of my motivations for travel. So I ask myself: Am I running away or am I running towards where I want to be? Am I chasing or being chased? Am I fleeing or searching? Am I escaping or soaring?
I often flee locales and situations searching vainly for happiness. I will take flight and find myself in a new town without really understanding how I got there, but I usually do feel happier. However I always make one fundamental mistake; I keep taking myself with me. As the saying goes: “Wherever you go, that’s where you are.” I can’t run away OR towards myself. And I can be really annoying.
But I keep running. Just yesterday I found myself hanging off the side of an over packed bus. I was trying to escape the phantoms in my head. It appeared to work. Holding onto the side of a bus as it winds through the mountains of northern Thailand will keep the demons at bay. But they’re simply waiting in the wings. Once I stopped clinging for my life, the delusions began to develop anew.
I may believe that I’m running towards or away, chasing or being chased, fleeing or searching, but those are the delusions. No matter what I want, I’m still right here. I’m neither running away or towards. All I can do is simply be mindful, even if I don’t have control over the flight.