Shame

I was ashamed of my tech-addiction. I still am sometimes. I would hide out, game-out, and watch days of video and wouldn’t tell anyone. I would binge until I felt so much shame that I would swear off video, gaming and the internet. Within a few days (or hours) I would “slip” and watch one video, play one Facebook game. My shame of failure would return and I’d begin a new binge. I was stuck in a shame cycle.

I would “act out” my shame through binges, and then “act in” until I felt shame for failing to be perfect. The cycle looks like this:

Acting in and out.

Acting in and out.

Do you identify with this cycle? Observe yourself. See if it’s true for you. Yes? Well, there’s something you can do about it. There’s an opportunity to break the circle at the top and bottom of the cycle; when you hit bottom.

Instead of acting in after a binge and restricting technology use, try reaching out to someone. If you feel ashamed, try telling someone. Don’t have anyone you trust? Go anonymous like me. Ionysus isn’t my real name; it’s my recovery name. Write out your experience. Comment here. Share. You can also see the page dedicated to tech-addiction. It’s full of tools.

-io

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